Hateful Things and People

In a conversation, when one hints that one would rather do something else and not talk to the other person, and when the other either ignores the hints or does not understand them, it is hateful. It is rude to interrupt and tell the other to go away, and one is thus left to suffer in silence, hoping that the other will tire and go away. It is even more hateful when the bore loves the one-sided conversation. It is difficult to tell whether the other pretends not to understand the hints or is genuinely uncouth. While one can easily stop the former bluntly, one should take care not to offend the latter, who is simply ignorant. That is why it is important that one is versed in the subtleties of civilized talk: to tell whether one is imposing on another.

When one has to deal with stupid people, it is hateful. It is even worse when the fools are educated, because it is easy to mistake rote knowledge for wisdom. These fools are easy to recognize: they always put on airs, use big words without regard to context, and pass others' ideas as their own. It is even worse when such fools are in a position of authority because one has to watch constantly lest one bruises their fragile egos. Fools are easily offended. Nothing upsets them more than realizing one is laughing at them.

When people talk too much, it is hateful. There are many moments in one's life which are intensely personal and should remain so. When one admires the afternoon breeze chasing petals among the branches of the blossomed trees, and then another comes along and starts chattering about the beauty of the scene, it is hateful. If one can convey in words what one feels, then one's feeling is shallow. If one is truly moved, one should compose a poem, write a song, paint a picture, or find another way to memorize it. One should not bother others with one's perceptions until they express a desire to share them.

When people leave open things that should be closed, it is hateful. It is bad enough when people leave drawers half-open. The cabinet then looks awful, with protrusions that stick out improperly and sag. "Why close them if we are going to use them soon enough?" these people ask. If they cannot recognize ugliness, then one cannot explain it. It is even more hateful when people leave doors open, especially the bathroom door. One can see the noxious smell oozing from that room, filling every nook of every room, until the comfort of the house is destroyed. One would not crap in the living room, why then do the equivalent by not closing the bathroom door?

Inconsiderate people are hateful. This includes the talkers, the bores, and the fools. But there are others. One is inconsiderate when one believes, or acts as if one believes, oneself to be more important than others. When one hogs the water fountain when there are other thirsty people around, it is hateful. When one drives slowly, blocking the way for everyone, it is hateful. When one makes noises, either laughing loud, crying loud, or talking loud, it is hateful. When one is stupid enough not to care that one bothers others, it is most hateful. One should always bear in mind that when one takes a breath, one takes the air of others.

It is hateful when one's lover wants to know more about one's past, especially about one's previous lovers. Nothing good can ever come out of this knowledge. One is best to ignore such prying and quickly shift the conversation to another topic. There is no correct way to answer such inquisitive people. Even though the truth is the last they want to hear, lying does not help because it either upsets them or makes them think too much of themselves. One then has to deal with a jealous lover or an overbearing one, and both are hateful.

When one insists one is right but then refuses to argue if another disagrees, it is hateful. If one is not prepared to defend one's ideas, then they are not worth sharing, and most certainly should not be hoisted upon others against their wishes. One should not disagree with an idea unless one is prepared to argue about it. Conviction in one's rightness does not make an argument. Neither does the feeling that one is right. One cannot agree to disagree when ideas are mutually exclusive. One should always remember that every idea is tentative, conditional on one's knowledge, and subject to revision as soon as one learns more. Every idea is a refinement, but there exists no ultimate truth that one can discover. There only exist best guesses.

Shoes in the house. Regardless of how tidy they seem, shoes are always dirty and should be kept outside the living space. It is best not to wear anything but if one's floor is not carpeted, then it might be uncomfortable. Never should one bring street shoes in. It is especially disturbing when people put their feet all over tables, chairs, or any place that is not the floor. There are some, who are so graceless that they cannot even see how repulsive they look when they squat in chairs, or lift their feet up. Some are even so rude as to spread their legs when they do that. It looks ugly, and carries unpleasant associations.