Walking Beside Me
(Sam Dung, 1986)

Chen Fang

Hong Kong

92 min, color, Cantonese (English subtitles)

Review © 2006 Branislav L. Slantchev

There are two reasons I own this film on DVD. First, and foremost, Joey Wang is in it. Enuff said. Second, these Deltamac releases of Fortune Star films are disappearing faster than the Amazon rain forest. Soon they will be out of print and I would not be holding my breath for another company to put some of these films out any time soon. In fact, I would be surprised if anyone ever puts this utter waste of film stock on anything. Yes, it is with heavy heart that I report my complete disappointment with this so-called romance.

This guy has 106 degree fever	I had both hands on the picture, I swear

I knew I was in trouble somewhere halfway through the film when I realized that the scene with Joey shooting hoops was going to be the highlight of the film. Admittedly, she's great: she sinks at least six in one long take, without a single miss, without a body double, and without any cinematic trickery. But when a romantic comedy (at least I think it was a comedy, I laughed as much as when my pet parrot died) rivets the audience with the main character wandering about an empty basketball field, you know heart palpitations are not going to be putting anyone in any immediate danger.

Gratuitous shot of Joey Wang	The scene I will always treasure

Joey plays a divorcee who is now raising her daughter on her own. At least that's what one would think with her being a single mom and all. But unlike traditional single moms, this one works too. In fact, her kid is nowhere to be seen around the house. That's because she lives elsewhere. Not with her dad either. She may have been staying with Joey's mom (Pau Hei-Ching). If this bold feminist statement does not make you want to exhibit this film to all those brainwashed housewives you know, then perhaps Joey's confrontation with an irate cabbie would.

Joey does not buy the honest guy act	Looks classier than it really was

One day Joey nearly runs over a traditional mother with a stroller. Okay, it's not clear if her VW Beetle would have done more damage to the stroller or vice versa. At any rate, the cab rear-ends her, and suddenly Joey finds herself in dire need of a slang thesaurus as the cabbie displays a linguistic prowess that would make Dr Johnson weep with envy. In any civilized country being rear-ended automatically means you are not at fault, but in Hong Kong things are apparently different. The cabbie shuts up only when his passenger pops out and settles the dispute by saying the accident was the cabbie's fault... because Joey is a woman, and therefore sucks as a driver but also probably has a hormonal imbalance and therefore no sane person/man would be able to talk any sense into her. The liberated single mom gets so incensed about this that she stuffs $50 into the grinning cabbie's hand and takes off.

Widow takes romantic advice from divorcee	Joey can't believe her lover is such a loser

Before you get any ideas about the point of the film, it's a romance. Trust me. Now repeat after me, "this is a romance, a romance, a Romance, a ROMANCE, A ROMANCE!!!" See, if you repeat a lie long enough it becomes true. In this romance, Joey is pursued by an annoying wimp by the name of Tsin (Louis Kong Hin-Yeung). He's some sort of American-educated geneticist, but that's not important. What is important is that he falls for Joey but his amorous advances leave a lot to be desired. After faking pneumonia with the persuasiveness of a kid caught with cookie crumbs over his shirt standing amidst the shards of the cookie jar and denying ever knowing such a jar existed, he weasels his way into her life and gets to grope her and slobber all over her ravishing face.

Ex-hubby marks territory	So I then tracked you down and stalked you

Then Joey's ex-husband (Shek Sau) returns from Canada and attempts to rekindle the old flame first by playing with their daughter, then by nearly raping Joey. Putting aside the obvious problem with demonstrating one's love through rape, I have to wonder why in the world does almost every director feel obliged to involve Joey in some violence against her. (I have wondered about this before.) At any rate, this Casanova's aspirations prove futile but not before that other wimp of a boyfriend gets pissed off and storms out of Joey's life in a fit worthy of any teenager hit hard by puberty. There's a subplot with him and a goofy girlfriend from the U.S. but it's too painful to reconstruct.

Strangle my agent, clobber my agent...	Loser finally masters door handling skill

A horrifyingly bad film with atrocious performances all around except Joey. She does the best she can with the dumb material but even she can be clearly seen hamming through several scenes (e.g., the one with the teacher on the podium). Still, the film almost makes up for its egregious pointlessness in the several scenes where Joey suffers from that dork leaving her. She is always at her very best when she portrays an unhappy female, and it's easy to see why. I was even going to get the Kleenex but then I remembered that I had run out of it during the first half of the film---the syrupy Cantopop love song truly got me.

Why is there always violence against Joey?	Joey of the watery eyes

The Deltamac DVD is just a tad better than a VHS tape. The film is presented in widescreen non-anamorphic transfer at 1.85:1. The print is damaged, with scratches and bad colors. Both Cantonese and Mandarin soundtracks are available, both in stereo. I listened to the Cantonese and it's the usual hollow crap. The optional English subtitles bear some passing familiarity with the language they purport to represent. They are basically enough to follow the plot but not any of the more involved dialogues. However, since there was exactly one involved dialogue and I slept through it, that was not a problem. Extras are limited to some trailers. A barebones release that is probably already out of print. I am not selling my copy. Eat your hearts out.

January 21, 2006