Xia sheng (The Sting, 1992)

Wong Man-wan

Hong Kong

92 min, color, Cantonese (English subtitles)

As usual, the translation spoils everything. The correct translation of the title is The Stink. This unassuming film is about the private dick Simon Tam (Andy Lau) who goes by the triad name of The Stink and whose superstitious boss has ordered to work for free for 3 years and 8 months or until retirement or until he runs out of money, whichever comes first. What comes first, however, is none of the above. Instead, Stink's assistant, or Stinkass for short, the charmingly gay Joe (Simon Lui) takes on a job with a down payment of $1 million. When the down payment is more than yours truly will ever earn in his life, you know the stink is afoot and something's amiss, to quote that dude with the cape from Army of Darkness.

Amiss goes the client who opts for an early retirement to a comfy coffin and a miss shows up, who turns out to be the refreshingly amateurish Yvonne, his widow (Rosamund Kwan), otherwise known as the Stinkette. Turns out (and trust me, it took the ingenuity of Wong Man-wan to come up with the church scenes) the dead dude has double crossed the triads for $100 million (so he was, after all, quite stingy with the down payment, the bastard) and now they want it back from his wife who has asthma (the bastards) dizzy spells (double bastards) and greed attacks (triple bastards).

The dick Stink quotes from Aristotle on greed and when that does not help threatens to let the triads chop suey the Stinkette with serious machetes. She double, triple, quadruple, and quintuple crosses Stink, telling him under hypnosis, under duress, under the influence of KGB truth serum, and in a helicopter that she loves him. After the fifth double-cross it occurs to Stink that she might be less than sincere or at least has an unconventional take on love.

If this part of the plot does not get your blood boiling, there's the secondary story about Stinkass that promotes good moral fibre and healthy tolerance. The apparently sincere gay finally realizes the crookedness of his ways and goes straight, producing a girlfriend faster than you can say "biology". She loves him deeply, which means that she will double-cross him, but that tragic development is in the sequel.

There's also a sniveling cop, a cop with halitosis, and a cowardly cop. Sometimes they combine two or more of these characteristics to give true dimensions to the characters.

Avoid at all costs. If you don't you WILL see Rosamund Kwan doing hurdles in a decidedly unsexy outfit. She stunk up the place the worst.

The Universe DVD of The Stink also stinks. There are no extras, just a puny bio of Andy Lau and they did not even bother to include one on Rosamund. No trailers, no attractions, no nothing. Just a lousy 1.85:1 letterbox transfer with unstable colors. The Cantonese track sounds hollow but then again everything does when you listen to Canto pop.

January 11, 2003