Return of the Sentimental Swordsman
(Mo jian xia qing, 1981)

Chu Yuan

Hong Kong

101 min, color, Mandarin (English subtitles)

Review © 2005 Branislav L. Slantchev

This is a sequel to the relatively confusing Sentimental Swordsman and, somewhat to my surprise, is a lot better than the original. This is a rare thing with sequels, but here I found everything, from the dramatic story to the execution, to be much more satisfying. I don't remember much of the story from the first film (and reading my own review does not help all that much in that respect), and to make matters worse same actors show up but as very different characters.

Ching Miao and Kara Hui	Ti Lung drinking himself into stupor

Although Ti Lung reprises his role as the heavy-drinking morose daggers-in-his-fan master swordsman Li Xunhuan, Ching Li now plays Shi-yin. This is very confusing not just because Yu An-An was the original sometimes-love-interest of the poetic drunkard but also because Ching Li was his original nemesis. To get my little mind smoking, Yueh Hua shows up as well, but this time as the wandering disheveled swordsman Guo instead of Li's best friend on whom he dumped the woman he supposedly deeply loved. I am used to Ku Feng playing everybody, so I was not surprised when he popped up too in a role diametrically opposed to the one he had in the original film. He used to be a goofy old man whom everyone regarded as wise for some reason that struck me as odd given his propensity to explode prematurely as fireworks for the Chinese New Year. Now he's just plain evil, but that suits me.

Gratuitous shot of moonlit Ti Lung	Yueh Hua is way too cool

I will never object to pairing Ti Lung with Ching Li because these two make the silver screen scorch itself with passion, and that's just when they look at each other. Unfortunately, that's all they do in this film. Although their love is doomed, presumably by Li's idiotic initial decision when he traded her in for a cheap wine (but lots of it), it is not entirely clear why they would be content to stare at each other in melancholy when she has been widowed and in dire need of a lay. Not to mention that Li is in dire need of a lay himself although it's not exactly obvious that he can... er, make it. As Shakespeare once said about wine, it makes desire strong but flesh weak. So instead of fixing each other once and for all, these two are going to pine for each other under the pale moon on snowy nights (it always snows when they meet, as they themselves remark).

Yueh Hua is just too good with the sword	The duel between two worthy opponents

So it's not a love story, despite the promising premise. Really, it's a film about how evil women are and how bad the world would be if they ruled it. Okay, it's not that either, but it's close. Case in point is Lin Xianer (Linda Chu) who is ostensibly the woman (I am sorry to be vague but I never understood if she was a wife, a concubine, or a lover) of Afei (Derek Yee). These happy love birds live in apparent seclusion, in a posh mansion where Afei idles away his time in such spiritually fulfilling pursuits as counting petals and the occasional caterpillar. He also sleeps a lot, which should not be surprising given how taxing stopping to smell the flowers can be when all you do is stop to smell the flowers. Unfortunately, Xianer is more (or less) than meets the eye. She sneaks out at night, after having prudently slipped enough pills into Afei's drink to put a legion of horny Roman soldiers to sleep, and has wanton sex with anyone that strikes her fancy. Now, I am not one to object to promiscuity of beautiful women, but I just could not understand the point of her tricking Afei like that. He was not rich or anything. He's pretty alright, but she's just using him as a wall ornament anyway. So I did not get that part at all.

A friendly stand-off	Derek Yee thinks Linda Chu is chaste...

This is not to say that I fully grasped the other parts. There's the little bewildering subplot with Yueh Hua wherein he shows up as a Chinese hippie (he looks way too cool with that hair), dispatches a bunch of people in quick succession, duels with Li whom he admires (for the usual inane "I want to see just how good I am" reason), then beds Xianer with extreme prejudice, and finally dies ignominiously at the left hand of Alexander Fu Sheng who plays Left-Hand Wuming. We are told by none other than the authority on inexplicable scenarios Ku Feng that the purpose of that last bit was to uncover Wuming's secret moves so that Li could study them from the wounds on the deceased friend. But I doubt it: there was no evidence later on that Li has, in fact, learned anything from them.

...which she decidedly is not	Lo Lieh as the smelly beggar for hire

If that subplot to nowhere does not tickle your fancy, perhaps the equally nonsensical one with Liu Ying (as the White Gown loser) will. This one shows up to get bribed by Li to stage a mock fight with Afei in order to get the latter out of his peacenik stupor (which succeeds), then to battle Li (for the same idiotic reason as Yueh Hua did... see above), lose to Li (don't they ever learn), and then disappear forever from the film after complaining that he's gotten too old to learn another technique with which to challenge Li. Now, I sympathize with Chu Yuan's desire to show us just how bad it is to be famous in the martial arts world. Li tries to leave it again and again only to be forced to fight by an endless procession of swordsmen whose self-esteem is as low as their IQ. But it does get boring in the end. I mean, I started drinking too.

A medieval version of the Mexican stand-off	Domestic abuse as part of chivalric code

Now, if the "I wish to check out my new moves against you" subplots don't get your blood boiling, then perhaps the "I want to take over the martial arts" innovative plot will. This time it is Shangguan (Ku Feng) who's up to no good as a clan leader who is numero dos on the China News and World Report Rankings of the Best Swordsmen in the Nation. This list, by the way, is composed by Bai Xioasheng (Ching Miao) using some unspecified methodology that has everybody strangely upset over the rankings. Not only do they object about the relative merits of the various criteria (that would be pointless since the weights Bai uses to amalgamate the raw scores into ranks is secret) but they strive to improve their standing in these rankings anyway. They use all sorts of underhanded techniques to achieve that, including the illicit elimination of rivals.

Ku Feng looks better than his character	Fu Sheng shows eclipse calculations

Now, Shangguan is not so dumb as to aspire to a higher position in the rankings. He would rather rule the world. He is assisted by his incompetent son Fei (Ku Kuan-chung) and the aforementioned Wuming. This Wuming is bad news, and not just because he slaps around Xianer before going post-apple Adam on her, but also because he writes on his arm, which, as we all learn in school, is what only bad people do. At least he's literate, having tattooed on it the names of the gazillion people he's killed. I guess he always asks for an ID before doing unto them what bad people do unto those they defeat. But perhaps he's not entire out of whack. The problem with Fu Sheng is that he has the looks that simply do not fit a villain. So I spent most of my time expecting him to throw off his cloak and break into a dance number.

Derek Yee has literally fallen low	Inevitable gratuitous shot of Ching Li

Lest I forget the other plot, the anti-women one, let's remember that Xianer was cuckolding Afei under his (snoring) nose. She then seduced Wuming, which incited Shangguan to order him to kill her (some equally idiotic thing about getting attached to people, I am sure the Buddhists would understand), but then she seduced Shangguan with apparently mutually satisfying sex with no strings attached on either side. Then she lured Afei to Shangguan's residence where the poor guy was dumped into a brothel to wine and whore around all day. Oh wait, why is this bad? Anyway, our upstanding citizen and pillar of petal-counting society does not appreciate the finer points of having lots of pretty women throw themselves at him, so he relinquishes the desires of the flesh, although not without a stern lecture from Li, who has reached step eight on the AA program and is busy forgiving everybody by killing them.

Fourth step in medieval alcoholics anonymous program	The good (Ti Lung), the dupe (Derek Yee)...

Then there's a really messy doubles duel, in which Li and Afei (on the blue team) face Shangguan and Wuming (on the we're gonna lose so badly team). When the appropriate team is licked, that stupid, stupid girl Xianer pops up yet again, this time to urge Wuming to attack the two victorious swordsmen. In a bold display of political incorrectness, Wuming slashes her with his sword, which appears to be more painful than slashing her with his... never mind. Within a second, she loses her mascara and coiffure, then dies rather pathetically, affirming that if women were to disappear, men would immediately cease hostilities and world peace would reign forever. Still, Chu Yuan may not be above portraying women as fundamental bad news, but at least he's no Chang Cheh, and so not all of them are harmful when swallowed. Some are merely irritating.

...the evil (Ku Feng), the snivel (Fu Sheng)	Linda Chu gets her just deserts

The film is presented in its original 2.35:1 widescreen aspect ratio and is anamorphically enhanced. The Celestial DVD looks gorgeous, and it is worth getting it, not just because the fight sequences are pretty neat but also because there are plenty of very beautiful romantic shots with snow, which I adore. A Dolby Digital 5.1 remix of the Mandarin soundtrack is the only audio option. The English subtitles are removable and decent enough to follow the plot. The extras are limited to the usual trailers, gallery of stills, and talent files. Despite my griping about the plots/subplots/subsubplots, this Chu Yuan wuxia is quite fun to watch, better than the first, and definitely something I do not regret buying on DVD. Go for it, you will like it too.

December 26, 2005