The Mummy Returns (2001)
Stephen Sommers
USA
120 min, color, English (and ancient Egyptian? with English subtitles)
Making sequels is hard. Making sequels to a fun movie that wasn't great in the first place is even harder. I liked THE MUMMY (all my friends think I'm weird) and although I enjoyed this sequel, I was somewhat disappointed. But first, the good stuff.
Patricia Velasquez. This time around, she does not appear for a tantalizing second but actually stars throughout the entire film before getting killed off in a very unsavory way. The Venezuelan supermodel is pretty good as the Anck-Su-Namun, evil reincarnated. Her serious look (there's so few women that can pull that off) is an asset and she is breathtaking, whether as wielding daggers or halberds, or throwing poisonous snakes at innocent people. I sheepishly admit that I will buy the DVD just because of her.
Oded Fehr, who reprises his role as Ardeth Bay. I think he stole the show from Brendan Fraser in the first film, and he definitely is at his best in the sequel too. This talented Israeli actor is only three years older than yours truly but looks so much more mature (not to mention devilishly handsome) that I think I'll convert to Judaism.
Great chase on a double-decker through the streets of London. Have to see it to believe it. Nah, I don't believe it even after seeing it.
Now for the bad stuff. CGI up the ying-yang. The animators are wild and crazy guys. Pity the director, who fails to restrain them. THE MUMMY RETURNS unpleasantly reminded me of the other great flop, which was spoiled by inordinate computer graphics (yes, Virginia, I do mean THE PHANTOM MENACE). I have nothing against computer-generated imagery, but I do have quite a bit against it when it's not done well. Despite many great moments in this film, most of the effects look "CGI" and are therefore bad. The particularly egregious example is the Scorpion King at the end: I've seen PC games with more convincing animation!
Freddie Boath, who plays Rick and Evelyn's eight-year old son Alex. Don't get me wrong. The kid was absolutely amazing. His antics were funny, and the sequence where he torments his captor by constantly asking "Are we there yet?" is hilarious. That's not the problem. The problem is with having an overly talented kid: just like the annoying prodigy in Star Trek (thank goodness they got rid of him), or the young Anakin in Star Wars. These kids are simply unbelievable (this one reads ancient Egyptian, among other things). I don't buy it and it pisses me off. I guess I am jealous. At this age I could hardly blow my nose, let alone sculpt maps out of sand. I've always been a bit slow, though.
The dirigible. This contraption was stupid, even with the jet engine.
The music. Stolen from Gustav Holst's THE PLANETS.
The Rock. Enough said.
Maybe I am griping too much. I enjoyed the film, but not immensely. I certainly expected more, but the plot was just an excuse to show more CGI effects, and this time there was nothing of the inventiveness of the original. Some of the coolest tricks were repeated (e.g. the zombie warriors), but others were just ridiculous (e.g. the Army of Anubis). There was some amusing banter going on, but not enough to hold my attention. As with any excitement, once it lasts for two hours, it starts wearing thin pretty soon. Nevertheless, the ancient Egypt sequences were particularly rewarding, especially the hand-to-hand between Nefertiti and Anck-Su-Namun. Did they really have to spoil the "eternal love" in the end? Oh well. Harmless entertainment.
May 12, 2001. BLS