Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre 2
(Yi tian tu long ji da jie ju, 1978)

Chu Yuan

Hong Kong

95 min, color, Mandarin (English subtitles)

Review © 2005 Branislav L. Slantchev

The scripting mayhem begun in the first film continues in full force. In this continuation of The Search for Meaning and, Occasionally, the Dragon Sabre, the violence is more extreme, the deaths much more numerous, and the title song is nearly justified. The title song, one should recall, is about love and hate and how even heroes cannot escape it. In the first film, there was much hate, but precious little love despite at least three women practically throwing themselves at the leading hero Wu Ji (Derek Yee).

Ching Li threatens to get Mongolian on Yu An-An	Yue Wing orchestrates fixing the Olympics

In this one, there will be much love but unfortunately, all of it is going to be of the doomed variety. It is not that people fall out of love nearly as quickly as they tumble into it. With one exception, everyone is pretty consistent in feeling the way he/she started out feeling. The problem is that all love interests of Wu Ji get eliminated in a succession of such rapidity that it is only rivaled by the lack of imagination about how it happens. Take, for example, Bu Huei (Cheng Lai Fong) who had such a promising beginning. Recall that she left with the man her mother ran out on to have a love child (Bu Huei) with another. Ostensibly, she did that to ease his pain or shame although one is hard-pressed to understand just how her presence would be anything other than a constant reminder of her mother's infidelity. Bu Huei dies with an arrow in the back having said exactly three words. All the glorious subplot came to a grinding halt with her.

One love interest down, three to go	Gratuitous shot of Yu An-An and Pan Ping-Chan

The quick settling of scores with plots can teach any Mafia don some lessons. What should one do with the other girl, Siu Chiu (Chan Ga Yee)? Well, killing her is not good enough, mostly because she does not fight. What is the other time-honored way of getting rid of heroines who have outlived their dramatic usefulness? As usual, remember Shakespeare here. That's right, "Get thee to a nunnery!" is the order of the day. (In fact two of the would be loves would get themselves to nunneries.) Since there is no reason for Siu Chiu to do that, the Persian Cult appears in a sudden, and very brief, cameo. It is revealed (I hate it when they do that) that Ha Ping is not just the witch Jin Hwa with enviable martial arts skills, but also the once-virgin Daisy from the Persian Cult.

The proud remains of the Ming Clan	My plan is to grow a beard next

In an eerie replay of what the Er Mei Clan did to Liu Hui-Ling in the first film, these dudes are unhappy with Daisy upping and dumping them to have sexual congress with some unknown, but clearly not very pious, man. It has taken them about two decades to get their act together, but now they are here and they want her dead. Eliminated. Erased. Expired. Rubbed out. They want her to be no more. To cease to be. To expire and go to meet her maker. To be bereft of life. To be an ex-nun. To push up the daisies... oops, bad pun, sorry. Seeing that the Iranian trio is no match for the collection of skilled fighters that just happens to be around when they come to make Daisy's metabolic processes history, they have to locate a mutually acceptable alternative that will somehow involve eliminating Siu Chiu. Abracadabra! Smoke! Puff! She turns out to be Daisy's daughter! You want blood? How about getting another virgin with same blood type to substitute for her mom? That would work. So off Siu Chiu sails to distant Persepolis to remain un-deflowerd forever or until her genes act up and she ups and dumps the Cult in turn.

Ha Ping, Lo Lieh, and Candy Wen	Second love-interest down, two to go

Well, this takes care of two potential lovers (and good thing for Siu Chiu that she was only potential or she could have been disqualified). Then there's Chi Yeuk (Yu An-An) who obviously loves Wu Ji but is a bit torn between what she must do for him and what the Abbess (Wang Lai, who is also self-dispatched from the story) swore her to do. We do not know what it is precisely, but given the insane smug self-righteousness of the Abbess, it could not have been anything smart. Herein lies the huge problem with the story from a dramatic perspective. Chi Yeuk is supposed to be smitten with Wu Ji (and it must be said that Yu An-An does convey much longing with her long stares although she conveys that in just about every scene regardless of context). On the other hand, her duty to the clan to whose leadership she has now ascended is forcing her to do something else. Duty versus passion. Always makes for a good story that never ends well.

That Mongolian ale really kicked ass last night	Gratuitous shot of Ching Li

Not this time. We are going to be saddled with simple jealousy that would force the otherwise seemingly rational Chi Yeuk into a series of idiotic endeavors, which include murdering cousins, attempted disappearing of rival females, nightly cramming to learn secret techniques so she can beat up her hubby should the need arise, and helping Sung Ching Shu (Ku Kuan-chung) grow a moustache. It must be admitted that Chi Yeuk did get some bad breaks during her wedding, which was stopped right in the middle of the ceremony when Princess Chiu Ming (Ching Li) showed up and convinced the groom to leave. But that's no explanation really because Chi Yeuk's flirtation with the less-than-kosher shenanigans of Sung had already begun before that.

All Power to the Soviets!	Yu An-An is a bride postponed

To understand this particular plot, we have to recall that everyone was looking for the Dragon Sabre, which was kept hidden by Tse Shun (Lo Lieh) who has gone inexplicably blind. After the Daisy subplot is tossed into the circular file, he has to decide who is supposed to get the precious knife. On one hand, there's the Mongolian Princess but unfortunately her family is really a foreign invader who has usurped power in China. Helping her extend Yuan dominion over the martial arts world is probably not very patriotic regardless of what oaths Wu Ji has sworn to her. Then there's Chi Yeuk whose clan is already in possession of the second piece of legendary equipment, the Heavenly Sword. If she gets the other one, she will learn their secret and will... yeah, you guessed it, rule the martial arts world until the next wuxia film.

Meditation in a hollow tree I get, but where's the WC?	This part of Swan Lake cut from production

His dilemma is resolved when the sword disappears along with the Princess who apparently has also killed Wu Ji's cousin Yan Li (Candy Wen). It is chalked up to typical Mongol treachery although the Chinese opinion of the Mongols cannot be trusted. (For one, they apparently conquered the country by throwing rings at the Chinese or confusing them with their outlandish hats. No horses, as far as I can tell.) But we know that this isn't right because we have already seen Chi Yeuk consorting with Sung, and when Ku Kuan-chung shows up with a thin moustache, things are bound to get hairy. Since we also know that Chi Yeuk was brainwashed by her annoying former chief, I was not convinced of her innocence in the matter. Add to this that the Princess has somehow neglected to murder Chi Yeuk herself despite inflicting a superficial flesh wound, and you have a plot that is about as mysterious as the sum of two and two.

Yu An-An casting bad hairdo demons out of Derek Yee	Not ridiculous but menacing

In the end, Chi Yeuk's motivation seems to have been two-fold. On one hand, she has already lied numerous times to the person she tried to marry. She has lusted after the sword and has not hesitated to kill totally innocent people in order to lay her hands on it. She even had helped kidnap Tse Shun who was then kept underground for months by Shaolin monks until a tournament would decide who's going to get the privilege of doing to him whatever pleased the winner's fancy. This half of her motivation was out of deference to the dying wishes of the Abbess, which just goes to show that my initial judgment of that woman was correct. On the other hand, she did try to marry Wu Ji but went berserk the moment he had to leave to save his grandfather (whom, one should recall, she had helped abduct in the first place). When all is said and done, Chi Yeuk does not appear as much a woman scorned as one in need of moral guidance. Unfortunately, since all of this takes place off-screen in order to maintain suspense for the one member of the audience who has fallen asleep and not yet figured it out, the inner conflict between her various desires remains unseen and therefore unimpressive. When the truth is finally sprung up on us with the inevitable "get thee to a nunnery" resolution, I could not care less.

Candy Wen: verifiably alive	Gratuitous shot of Yu An-An with blocked pressure points

So who was it that triggered Chi Yeuk's murderous jealousy? Well, the Mongolian Princess of course. She has a lot of explaining to do as well, at least when it comes to logic. Never once does she indicate that she is in love with Wu Ji, who in turn seems to be content to marry another woman. But her actions are not really consistent with her interests as a Yuan Princess. At one point she intimates that conquest is her father's business, not hers, and she does have a bunch of Mongol thugs killed in the first film when they abused local villagers. So maybe she's an enlightened despot of sorts. But then she does make several attempts to get the legendary weapons, ostensibly to further Yuan interests. When the finale comes and she has to part with Wu Ji, they are both grateful that they never said they loved each other. Presumably, they do. At least, she does, which helps explain her otherwise odd behavior. But if she knew their relationship was doomed from the start (she says as much), then why bother at all? If you are going to ride into the sunset, maybe it's best to just ride into the sunrise?

Third love-interest down, one to go	Last love-interest down

Despite its numerous flaws in terms of story, the film is entertaining enough. In some ways it is worse than the first one (since many of the pretty leads get summarily removed), but it still packs enough fun to warrant a couple of viewings. The Celestial DVD appears a bit worse than the one with the first film too, although that may have been due to the excessive amount of soft focusing. The picture is presented in anamorphic widescreen at the usual 2.35:1 aspect ratio. It looks gorgeous. The remixed Dolby Digital Mandarin soundtrack works well, and the English subtitles are fine (although some sentences remain without translation again). I don't care much for the extras, but those who do will find talent files, trailers, and a photo gallery.

December 29, 2005