eXistenZ (1999)
David Cronenberg
Schlockmeister Cronenberg Plays Nintendo, Finds it Lacking
Siskel & Ebert gave it an unspecified number of thumbs up, the San Francisco Chronicle raved that it made THE MATRIX look like child's play. Why, oh why, do we have to suffer such indignity at the hands of the critics? There must be some conspiracy here -- Cronenberg promises to make outrageously dull movies, the critics promise to give them glowing reviews, and the public promises never to see them.
It could have been a decent story. A test of a new game -- the controller plugs directly into your spinal cord, presumably to interface with your nervous system, geez, I thought we'd have something less intrusive sans cables coming out of your ass... how about VR visors or maybe a joint -- goes wrong (or does it?) when a disgruntled PlayStation fan shoots the designer with what looks like a pistol (or is it?). Leigh flees accompanied by the clueless and cowardly Law, and everyone tries to kill them (or do they?) The two fugitives naturally decide to play the game and after wasting 15 minutes on illegal port installation, they finally do, to find themselves in a virtual reality as boring and unimaginative as their real world (or is it?) Some negligible plot twists and an hour later, we find out it's all been a sham, at which point Leigh murders Law and wins the game. Bang, we lose (or do we?) It THEN turns out they've been playing a game all along, so Leigh and Law (naturally) murder the game designer in the gruesome way the viewer wants to murder just about everyone associated with the movie. The last scene is the occasion for the one cool performance in the entire film: Law shouting his lines in an abrupt and halting manner. It's an entire film, during which the viewer is expected to ask parenthetically ``or is it?'' and marvel at the wonderfully twisted incomprehensible plot. Blah, give me a break -- one needs to care about the characters in order to ask questions about them!
Cronenberg does not set out to make a movie but confuse the unwitting viewer, which he fails to do because if there's anything I wondered about, it was when the film would end, not how the plot would develop. And by the way, there isn't a single time when we don't know whether we're inside the game or not -- so much for the fabled merging of fantasy and reality. It's a pity because the idea isn't bad at all. It's a far cry from making THE MATRIX look like anything because you simply cannot compare the two. This film does not have the story, the special effects, or the superb modern cinematography that makes the other a winner. eXistenZ looks and feels like a third-rate B flick except it gobbled up more money, succeeds in being cheap, and has no redeeming virtues.
3 out of 10 (I am deluding myself here -- I bought the DVD so the movie MUST not have been a total waste!)
December 5, 1999. BLS