1990: The Bronx Warriors
(1990: I guerrieri del Bronx, 1982)

Enzo G. Castellari

Italy

89 min, color, English (dub)

Review © 2007 Branislav L. Slantchev

I am continuing with my foray into Italian visions of a dystopian future in random chronological order of the year they depict. Whereas 2019: After the Fall of New York assures us that there would be nuclear holocaust around 2000 A.D., life is still hunky-dory in 1990 here. Well, perhaps not for the denizens of the Bronx seeing that this borough has been abandoned by law enforcement and is now reverted to a semi-feudal arrangement in which local barons head gangs to control adjacent turf while all being under the nominal suzerainty of a king called The Ogre (Fred Williamson). If the politically and socially complicated plot of multiple overlapping fealty lines and uncertain sovereignties does not get your juices flowing, then there's plenty of explosions, impalings, kinky fights, and enough goofy costumes to make a Las Vegas burlesque seem like a classic production of Antigone.

Helmets don't always help with impact of pointy metal objects	These are NOT goofy, they are cool, and the leader is in NO WAY gay

The idea of the government abdicating responsibility and (parts of) New York reverting to a law of the jungle (or Hobbesian state of nature for those more philosophically inclined) reminded me of the superb series of novels by David Feintuch who depicts a New York abandoned by the world government of the United Nations and neighborhoods existing in near anarchy with rival gangs controlling patches of land, viciously defending their territory, and generally engaging in all sorts of behavior most civilized humans find objectionable. While it's highly doubtful that Castellari read Voices of Hope, there are numerous plot similarities: we have a human from the "outside" civilized world lost somewhere in the anarchic boroughs; we have that human befriending locals who battle others first and then, having realized that the outside is about to use the opportunity to crush them, figure out they have to unite in order to survive; then there's the perilous journey through turf controlled by various gangs until our heroes reach the group they intend to form an alliance with. While none of this is probably important for this film itself, the parallel probably made me love it a lot more than I otherwise would have.

Don't mess with the Postal Service	Did you pick out the wallpaper yourself?

The escapee is Ann (Stefania Girolami) who's fled her responsibilities as the heiress to the largest and richest corporation in the world. Her problem is that this entity also happens to be the largest arms-dealer in the world, and she wants nothing to do with its blood money. Having realized that she will be a puppet in the hands of the unscrupulous board of directors (represented by Stefania's dad Ennio and director Enzo), she disappears into the Bronx, hoping that without her the corporation would grind to a halt. At this point, we have to ignore the obvious plot hole that is so large as to be practically invisible. As a fish that is unaware it lives in water, the film is oblivious to the fact that there's no way Ann's absence would impact the corporation adversely. In fact, the ending actually proves it, making the entire plot highly suspect to begin with. But we shall let that slide. Let's imagine that for whatever reason Ann is in the Bronx and someone out there with huge influence and tons of money wants her bad badly enough to kill lots of people.

Representative of disgruntled minority voices concerns over Trash's leadership	The NOT GAY Trash explains his undying love for Ann despite tight jeans riding up his ass

Ann quickly runs into trouble with some skater dudes who are then pummeled quite mercilessly by three bikers who turn out to be the gang that has assumed control of that particular patch of land. Having saved Ann, the leader of this gang Trash (Mark Gregory) falls promptly in love with her and almost throws political acumen to the wind for his dalliance with the "rich bitch" (yes, they do find out rather quickly who she is) causes murmurs of discontent in his followers, and this potential schism is then almost skillfully exploited by Trash's second in command Ice (Joshua Sinclair). This inner struggle does not bode well for the cohesion of the group, and unity is what it needs to counter the growing threat posed by skaters, rag-wearing mutes covered with white flour, tap-dancing rejects from the set of A Clockwork Orange who have unfulfilled aspirations to be Kiss imitators, and the flamethrower-wielding mounted law enforcement officers with tendencies to engage in large-scale atrocities.

George Eastman lets Ann know that her gym membership cannot be canceled until the five-year contract is up	Shows for the umpteenth time that step-dancing can never be cool regardless of props

All this politically complicated powder keg needs is a match, and it comes in the form of Hammer (Vic Morrow), a Bronx native who has gone non-native and joined the police. Some feel this is a betrayal of his roots occasioned by his feelings of inferiority on account of his humble origins and his vain attempt to integrate in the dominant culture that rejects him even while using his services for its dirty work. That would explain his pathological hatred for the people of the Bronx. I subscribe to the alternative theory that is based on his fondness for Nazi-inspired uniforms, a fetish that inspires him to climb the rank ladder until he reaches the superior position that allows him to wear the cool officer's hat instead of the dorky helmet. The proof is that he only goes bonkers when he is forced to wear other clothes (he's especially vicious when dressed as a postal worker; I think the link between their uniform and the frequency with which they go postal needs to be explored). When he is finally permitted to wear the hat, he spends all his time laughing and enjoying it.

Your insights into the psychology of dress choice intrigue me	As always, it's good to be the king

This Hammer (who should not be confused with 'The Hammer' which happens to be the moniker for Fred Williams who plays The Ogre) hatches a plot which is astounding in its perspicacity. It is quite well developed, and he nearly manages to set up Trash to take the fall for the murder of one of the Ogre's men. He also nearly manages to get Ice to pull off an alliance with the skaters that would simultaneously secure Ann's release (I neglected to mention that in the meantime she has fallen into their clutches) and overthrow Trash. He also nearly succeeds in wiping out the newly formed alliance between the bikers and the king. In the process, he nearly manages to avoid getting killed. In other words, the plan was good but the execution was slightly flawed, mostly because of treacherous allies, incompetent underlings, and micromanagement by his superiors.

Vic Morrow singing in the gutter	Fred Williamson shows Mark Gregory how not to be gay, but it's unnecessary because Mark is in NOT gay, NO WAY

Despite the convoluted intrigue and the subtextual critique of social mores in contemporary America, the film is really about making Mark Gregory look less gay. If Mark's stiff walk was any indication, the director went to a lot of trouble to get rid of the undulating swoosh that is the stereotypical manner of men of the non-heterosexual persuasion. Unfortunately, he neglected the effect that tight jeans riding high up the guy's ass would have in conveying the reality. As a result, Mark spends his time flashing his well-constructed and utterly hairless chest, walking as if he has a stick up his ass (this is just a metaphor, I am not insinuating anything), and being so obviously gay that he could have been a role model for the organizers of the annual Gay Pride parade. All of this is only a problem insofar as he is supposed to be portraying a character deeply in love with Ann. If you ask me, the scene where he cries and hugs his dying friend Blade (Massimo Vanni) was a whole lot more convincing than any of his interactions with Ann. Adding to all that the fact the Mark spoke no English and had to learn his lines by sound alone explains why his delivery tends to be flat and stiff: he did not understand what he was saying and even if he did, he just could not pull off a love affair with a woman convincingly. The guy is a bodybuilder, for crying out loud! Give him a break.

Trash's real tender scene with tortured comrade Blade	The Hammer threatens to scratch George Eastman with Italian kung fu

If there's anyone that totally monopolized the show, it was doubtless Fred 'The Hammer' Williamson. He has this expansive presence and natural nonchalance that allow him to dominate each scene he's in quite effortlessly and in a very endearing manner. He can also act circles around everybody else in this film, including George Eastman who shows up in a small role as the skater leader Golan. Fred not only has the best dialogue delivery, but he is also most convincing in action sequences. His death scene (which he says he came up with himself) is almost lyrical: as he goes out with dignity and pride being scorched by flames while smoking his trademark cigar. Of course, Vic Morrow is also quite good as the clever sociopath Hammer but he just does not have Williamson's charisma. One of the strengths of the DVD is the extended interview with Fred in which he comes across as a self-assured overall nice guy whose insights into the differences between European and American cinema sound as correct as they are funny.

George Eastman finds cobwebs only on the other side of the looking glass	Come out and confront my chest like a man!

When all is said and done, this film is set up for a sequel for while most people die, Trash himself escapes with his life and the evil corporation is still in existence. I fully expect some sort of epic confrontation in the future, with all attendant explosions, mayhem, bodily violations, dismemberments, and gratuitous violence. Now that the king is gone, I can easily see the Bronx slipping into total anarchy which cannot bode well for real estate prices in the area. Given the murky commitment the police (whose uniform has clear associations with the usual representation of evil totalitarian regimes) has to the people in the Bronx—there is an extended scene in which two officers are flying in a helicopter over the borough and commenting how much they hate and despise the human vermin infesting the area below—there's little doubt about the massacre that is sure to ensue. Now, where's the DVD of that sequel?

Reverse fire-fighting	These flames, despite having a generally singing effect on articles of clothing, have nothing on Trash's mane

I rented the Shriek Show (Media Blasters) release of this film and I have to say the DVD is superb. The video transfer is flawless and presents the movie in its full anamorphic glory at 2.35:1 OAR. The English dub is as good as it can get (in fact, it's probably appropriate to consider this the film's "original" language since not only are there many native speakers in leading roles but even the others had to mouth the English words) and despite the occasional sync problem, it was quite serviceable. The jewel in this crowning release are the extras, especially the aforementioned long interview with Fred Williamson. There's a very short and not terribly informative chat with the director too.

January 14, 2007