Descendant of the Sun
(Ri jie, 1983)

Chu Yuan

Hong Kong

83 min, color, Mandarin (English subtitles)

Review © 2005 Branislav L. Slantchev

If you open the dictionary under the word "silly," you will find the following definition: n., Chinese fantasy films with fast-forward action, cheesy special effects, people flying around casting colorful bolts and muttering incomprehensible "Buddhist" incantations, all having to do with a plot line that nobody can possibly understand. See also, Descendant of the Sun, Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain, and Dragon Chronicles: Maidens of Heavenly Mountains.

The Rainbow Coalition on the offensive	The Force has nothing on these powers

A cheeky Superman rip-off set in some unspecified mystical past of China when animation-fu ruled the world and Derek Yee was not ashamed to appear in such fare, Descendant of the Sun is Chu Yuan at his totally random self. With lavish sets courtesy of Shaw Brothers studios and production values that belie the dramatic non-entity that the story is, this film veers from sheer inspiration to such silliness that one wonders just how much of it was improvised on the spot. Plenty of eye candy for both sexes in the gorgeous Cherie Chung, the pretty Yeung Jing-Jing, and the dashing Derek Yee serves to ensure continued interest for nearly the full 83 minutes. Unfortunately, even with such formidable appeal to those parts of the audience that don't care much for cinematography, the film is about 15 minutes too long. I found myself dozing off at the end.

Cherie Chung, Yeung Jing-Jing, Yau Chui-Ling	Poetry and candy

The story is totally ridiculous and in spite of the lofty pronouncements at the beginning of the film that attempt to cover up the plagiarism, it is a straight Superman rip off. At least that's what I would call a film in which a guy with supernatural powers flies around in a shiny costume with a mantle that flutters in the wind, but whose day job is something utterly unremarkable but involves living in proximity to the beautiful woman whom he loves but to whom he cannot disclose his secret, which leads him to save her periodically from all sorts of scheming evildoers until she falls in love with her rescuer but cannot seem to put two and two together enough to realize his identity. Did I miss anything? Oh yes, the big difference is that Derek Yee trains a parrot in this film, which is a distinctly Chinese occupation, so it must be of ancient origin.

Totally not Superman	Extreme animation-fu

This is not to say that the film isn't fun. After an introduction that is a complete mess, it is at least made clear that two children will be born in the world. Yuen Ying is good and Mo Ying is less so. A carpenter (Ching Miao) finds the supernatural good child, adopts him as Shue Sang, and raises him as his own. Pretty soon the child (Fan Siu-Wong) reveals some special abilities that should put him at least two grades before kids his age. Being a somewhat less than imaginative child, Shue Sang limits himself to growing peaches, some feats of strength involving carts, levitating bullies, and plucking chicken remotely. When he grows up into Derek Yee, he adds a few other tricks to his repertoire, like making his eyes sparkle (which I can do too but need several drinks first, which means I do not have enough training), and also sitting in the Lotus position in a cave for long periods of time.

Ladies, one at a time, please!	Gratuitous shot of Cherie Chung

While all of these fun activities take place at the village, the palace is, as usual, in the midst of palace intrigue. The evil Prince (Lung Tien Hsiang) has hatched a plan the world will not see until the middle of the 20th century: he is going to produce the perfect Aryan race by killing all stupid babies. To determine their IQ, he asks them to count backward in Sanskrit, recite the multiplication tables without an abacus, and compose a short poem while drinking wine under the pale moon. Since most babies do not do all that well with wine, they end up for permanent adoption in the other world. The process is entirely scientific and industrialized: the babies arrive on a conveyor belt dutifully supplied by the Prime Minister (Yang Chi-ching).

Prince with a flame-thrower up his sleeve	Yau Chui-Ling, Cherie Chung, Yeung Jing-Jing

The costs involved in selective breeding to make the smartest race causes some discontent among parents whose children are found unworthy, which leads to brawls breaking out at PTA meetings. The Prince, however, insists on the soundness of the testing instrument, and beats the parents on their heads with statistical analyses showing that his method is correct, within a five body confidence interval. All these activities take place away from the sight of Princess (Cherie Chung) who is such an empty head, one wonders if her parrot does not use her as a ventriloquist dummy. After discovering that the Prince has plotted to kill him along with other villagers, Shue Sang makes his escape to the imperial garden, where he runs smack into many women with severe hormonal imbalance.

The parrot with the dirty mouth	Derek Yee is the maids' plaything

He performs some second-rate parlor tricks for them and is hired on the spot to train the parrot. He is also smitten with Princess (who wouldn't be?), and accepts the honorable parrot-training position, which is entirely respectable and worthy of his supernatural powers. Now, this does not exactly put paid on the Prince's designs, but when he rounds up the next batch of babies, Shue Sang is around to interfere. He attempts to foment revolution but is shushed by a maid and pouts in beautiful surroundings until Princess pays some attention to him. Since she's too busy reading 100 Ways to Be a Sexy Princess issue of Cosmo, he makes some flowers spring from the pond, but it all ends rather badly when a bunch of assassins also spring up from the pond along with them.

Definitely not a good idea	Still totally not Superman

Shue Sang, dressed completely unlike Superman, saves Princess and sets the precedent for nobody recognizing him even though the only difference I could see between his supernatural and ordinary states is really the head-gear, which I admit can confuse anyone. Princess falls in love with the guy in shiny dress, and tries to get him to save her as many times as possible. This involves hatching some schemes that were I to call them hare-brained, the hares would sue me for libel. In one of them, Princess would plunge to her death from a tower except she wouldn't really be plunging to her death but would rather be executing a primitive bungee jump using silk for rope. The idea is to force the flying guy to come and rescue her.

You saw me while I was taking a bath?	Gratuitous shot of Cherie Chung and foliage

This folly nearly ends in disaster when the silk rips, but that very thing causes Shue Sang to whisk Princess away to his somewhat Spartan cave, which he has at least adorned with flowers for the occasion. A thoroughly unnecessary tender love scene ensues which does begin on a promising note with him telling Princess that he can make himself invisible. When she asks whether he has seen her in the bath tub, he teases her, causing her to hide behind some foliage and pretend to be horrified. A seduction almost follows, but for some reason Shue Sang kicks her out of his pad to go hang out with the evil baby reborn as Ku Kuan-chung.

Inappropriate tender moments	Your Schwartz is as big as mine!

The film then bogs down in interminable action sequences which are not nearly as entertaining as martial arts scenes because although they do have some leaping and flailing of appendages, they consist mostly of horrible synthesizer sounds that accompany bad animation that cannot hide the wires on which people fly around in obviously anti-aerodynamic fashion. It is amazing that Derek Yee and Ku Kuan-chung managed to play their roles with straight faces. Havoc finally ensues when some flesh-eating zombies are released from hell, Princess almost gets to follow in Jesus's steps, and lots of cardboard stand-ins for extras are blown up in quick succession. This film is certainly not for the faint of heart or patience.

You little sun-loving punk!	Friday afternoon crucifixion & sacrifice party

The Celestial DVD is decent and offers a 2.35:1 anamorphic transfer which allows us to witness the wire on which the sacrificial dagger hands in all its unconcealed glory. The picture is quite soft although this may be due to Cherie Chung appearing in many scenes. Although a Cantonese soundtrack is available, I listened to the Mandarin Dolby Digital 5.1 dub (sound was post-synced anyway). It preserves properly the full annoyance of the special effects and the irritating high-pitched squawking of the two maids. The English subtitles are just fine for the complexity of the dialogue. With the usual trailer, talent files, and a photo gallery, this DVD is perfect for all those who do not have the good sense to avoid this film.

December 22, 2005