Gyeolhoneun michinjishida (Crazy Marriage, 2002)

Yu Ha

Korea

106 min, color, Korean (English subtitles)

I am beginning to think that there are no Korean films with more than two actors in them. I mean, just how many two-person romantic comedies/tragedies can one country possibly make? This must be an attempt to fill a niche that has been neglected by Hollywood. Actually, it's an attempt to create a niche and then fill it. Or maybe the other way round.

If nothing else, this film simply confirmed what I had suspected all along: women are insane. Well, not in a Hannibal-Lector-I-will-munch-on-your-innards or Ben-Afleck-everyone-likes-me-so-I-must-be-talented-and-will-therefore-mary-J-Lo sort of way, but in that dangerously cute, infuriating, utterly irresistible, and devastating way that can drive a guy to his wits' end (admittedly, not a very long distance to drive), and that makes us go drink with our buddies, curse the universe for being born men, then thank the universe for having made women, and finally come back for more.

But I digress. The film is actually a social satire. Or a romantic comedy. Or maybe a domestic tragedy. Or a satirical romance that dramatizes social comedies. Yes, that's it.

Yeon-hee (Eom Jeong-hwa) is a very young and very attractive working woman who likes financial freedom but mostly likes to get married to a guy that will give her said freedom. Unfortunately, she's very horny. Joon-young (Kam Woo-seong) is a very young and very handsome teaching assistant who likes sex and does not really want to get married. Fortunately, he's very horny. The two get set up on a blind date, and, since two hornies attract far more than opposites, they end up in bed. Not to catch up on beauty sleep, mind you.

Then they end up in bed many, many times, although sometimes they end up in sinks. Not to wash, mind you.

Joon-young's liberated attitudes toward sex do not suit his charming paramour who wants marriage. Why a liberated woman would want to leave her apparently OK-paying job to become a glorified cook to her ugly husband is beyond me. Anyway, Yeon-hee drops many hints that her English teacher of a boyfriend misses or ignores. She finally drops him and gets married to an ugly doctor. Then she has second thoughts.

Actually, she has third thoughts because her second thought was how to keep her plaything after getting hitched with a wealthy but gawky groom. She comes up with a brilliant idea that involves getting the piss-poor plaything an apartment, which she can decorate. She can also go there for occasional sex and more cooking. Yes, it's an entire subplot that involves the stove, broccoli, and some instant noodles. It was riveting.

Finally, Joon-young gets tired of the weekend culinary delights, and frustrated because the small subplot with the attractive student never got anywhere, prompting valid questions about its purpose in the first place. He claims he's gotten tired of her, but in fact, he's gotten used to her. Which in everyday language translates as "love". Who, the hell, knows what she wants. So he asks her never to come back. Of course, she does. Did I mention her husband was ugly?

Where's the social satire? Well, you see, marriage is something every Korean mother wants for her son. You see, marriage is socially constructed and is not very meaningful in today's world. There you go. Satire.

A surprisingly enjoyable nonsense that has utterly mistaken feminism for sex, Marriage Is a Crazy Thing (alternative title) is a throw-away flick that one can safely watch with a girlfriend. Not with the wife! She may get ideas. Unless it's someone else's wife. In that case, do watch it with her. She may get ideas.

I guess marriage is crazy if your wife keeps playing with a plaything when she's supposed to be taking English classes. Does the heart-rending ever end?

I have a bootlegged DVD from a guy in Singapore who swore it was legit. Aside from missing all extras and having a back cover that is a hilarious mess of English characters, the DVD looks as legit as it gets after being burned without authorization. It's still anamorphic although it's missing the DTS track. The transfer is excellent, so you might want to invest in the original Korean release.

April 17, 2003