Black Tight Killers (Ore ni sawaru to abunaize, 1966)

Hasebe Yasuharu

Japan

87 min, color, Japanese (English subtitles)

This one should have been called Black Tight Victims since the girl assassins were more adept at dying (also go-go dancing and wearing awful wigs) than killing anybody. A typical 1960s Nikkatsu extravaganza with scantily clad women (who still manage to conceal every bit of flesh even while mortally wounded) wielding an assortment of unlikely deadly objects ranging from blinding bubble gum and exploding bra pads to the more traditional razor-sharp 7" vinyl and (again) exploding golf balls.

In the unlikely event that anyone is interested in the story, it concerns the very incompetent photographer Daisuke (Kobayash Akira) whose date Yoriko (Matsubara Chieko) gets inconveniently kidnapped during their first night out. His efforts to save her lead him knee-deep and head-first into the shadowy world of international consiracy. As far as I could tell, a bunch of local yakuza are in cohoots with a bunch of imported American yakuza to find and illegaly appropriate a bunch of gold stolen from Okinawa by the Japanese Army. Yoriko's dad, whom they have already murdered right after the war, is the only one with the map. Except noone knows where it is.

The black tight killers are a band of Okinawan go-go dancing patriots who believe the gold should return to its rightful owners, although the latter are conveniently left unspecified. The tragic fate of these women affirms once and for all the simple fact that go-go dancers should not mess with international yakuza cartels.

There are some hilarious moments amid the spectacularly bad acting, truly deplorable cinematography, and incoherent scripting. Among the better ones are how every black tight killer manages to die in the hands of our (supposedly) handsome hero having either fallen for him already to being about to fall for him. Also, never trust a woman when she asks you to close your eyes... but every sane male already knows that.

This fairly harmless movie can be watched as a spoof of the spy/gangster film even though it's far too funless for that. It can also be watched as a light-hearted gangster film whose protagonist gets slapped worse than Marlowe on his worst days. The ineptitude of the hero is too refreshing to pass by without note.

The Image DVD is fine, presented in widescreen anamorphic format, with bright readable subtitles (some of which flash by far too quickly). There is also an exclusive interview with director Hasebe, which is also somewhat interesting as he discusses the story behind the film, its production, his various influences, and even the Japanese movie industry at the time.

May 28, 2002