Longxiong hudi (Armour of God, 1986)

Jackie Chan

Hong Kong

94 min, color, Cantonese (English subtitles)

First things first. This film is confusingly retitled as Operation Condor 2: The Armour of the Gods in the US, and its sequel, Armour of God II (1990) is itself retitled as Operation Condor. So, in the US, the sequel is the prequel. Confused yet? On with the review then.

Stealing a piece of the Armour of God?
Not a piece, the set.

Jackie Chan is Asian Hawk, a modern-day Indiana Jones on steroids. He does not work for a museum but instead hunts down various precious artifacts and then sells them to the highest bidder while not above hiring people to do some shilling. The film opens with a typical Indiana Jones sequence: somewhere in the jungle, a backward tribe is worshipping something that Jackie wants to steal. He does, and they chase him until he flies off in a pocket-size plane. This sequence is where Jackie nearly got killed doing one of his stunts.

An evil monkish cult is plotting to get the Armour of God because of some lame shot-on-video sequence during the dark ages that involved some people roughing up others in the name of good. This sort of thing was fairly common in the dark ages, so it's not clear why this particular armour has to be fingered. Instead of paying Jackie, the monks cross-dress as Arab terrorists (gotta love this one) and kidnap his long-lost love-interest Laura (Rosamund Kwan). Since when is it cheaper to shoot 20 people and concoct an elaborate plot instead of hiring the guy to do the job? This scene has one memorable shot that showcases Jackie's love for paparazzi.

Jackie teams up with Laura's present love-interest Alan (Alan Tam) to recover his long-lost love-interest from the monks, who demand the rest of the armour as ransom. Jackie and Alan are joined by the implausibly adventurous daughter of some rich eccentric (aren't they all?) who keeps cougars in his mansion which is also well-stocked with dogs. The daughter goes by the name of May (Lola Former) and is going to be Jackie's new love-interest just to make sure he's not conflicted about his old flame and his friend.

The rest is a long sequence of stunts (incredible), jokes (so-so), slapstick humor (pretty neat), and fights (stunning). There is a motorcycle/car chase set in an old European city with fairly narrow streets. Watch out for the pedestrians, there are several very close calls. Another good fight takes place in the monastery. Make that several good fights, all full of usual Jackie flair and, SURPRISE!, some blaxploitation: Jackie battles four athletic black chicks in scantily-clad in leather, and in high-heels. It just doesn't get any better than that.

The film is less of an adventure (so comparisons to Indiana Jones are really not useful) and more of a slapstick comedy. There's the occasional humor in the dialogue, but most of it is the physical variety that Jackie is so good at. Even Alan Tam did quite well (my favorite scene has him tripping over his monkish robe disguise and tumbling over Jackie). Lola Forner is good-looking but really nothing more, she can't even play a convincing prostitute:

I'm a prostitute.
No, you're a well-bred girl.
I'm not, I'm a whore.

Rosamund Kwan is entirely wasted as the Manchurian Candidate. Pretty nifty music, and jaw-dropping stunts make Armour of God almost a required viewing. Damn good fun.

Memorable line: No need to die. I'll show you how to be a whore.

The Hong Kong Legends R2 DVD is superb. The anamorphic widescreen transfer is almost free of blemishes and the print looks gorgeous. I did not care for the English dub, but the Cantonese dolby 5.1 soundtrack is excellent. The subtitles are bright, easy to read, and free of errors. There're some extras, including an interview with Jackie who explains (in amusing English) the blaxploitation sequence and shares some of his thoughts on fight scenes in American movies (translated from his English, "they're lame"). This is the way to own the film.

March 4, 2003