The Rolling Stones (1952)

Robert A. Heinlein

Del Rey, New York; ISBN: 0-345-32451-X; Pages: 253

The rest of you --- mind your decimals!

This is one of the first humorous RAH juvies, and a pretty entertaining one too. The story of the restless twins, Castor and Pollux, grandmother Hazel, and the rest of the Stone family is a lively quick-paced and sharp-witted gallop through the solar system --- from Luna, to Mars, and then to the asteroid belt. As the author himself admitted, the story seems to sag a little in the last quarter or so, but the characters have no problem keeping up wisecracking and being generally obnoxious. Much less serious that many of RAH's other works in terms of social issues (there's barely a stab at the tax-collecting Mars authorities), TRS is more of a comedy with some formidable scientific backing to make it stick.

It seems that RAH's fascination with science got the better of him in this novel --- there's an almost endless tirade of ballistic navigation data, astronomical measurements, a little math, some physics, and plenty of engineering. The best of it all has to be the unflattering rant about the inefficiency of 20th century automobile design (still true, almost half a century later) and the three stages that technology goes through --- invention, monstrous complication to correct the errors in the original design, and a complete overhaul, usually much simpler and more efficient than the original.

Another notable RAH invention is the 'flat cat' (aka Freudian slip according to his psychotic editor). The furry purring Martian has been a favorite of Star Trek, reborn as Tribble in at least two episodes that I have seen. And not one single attribution to RAH!

The fifteen year old twins who are technically proficient, but not terribly savvy either in personal or business skills, decide to make a killing as interplanetary traders, settling on bicycles as their item of choice. Although their Dad, a sitcom writer, does not permit them to go in business on their own, the family decides to leave their house on Luna to travel for the fun of it. And off they go, in a spaceship called "The Rolling Stone," to visit the colony on Mars. An uneventful year later (with the exception of that epidemic on board of the "War God" which Dr. Stone (the mother) managed to keep under control) they make it to the red planet. The twins sell their bicycles for tourist tours, get in trouble with the law, and are bailed out by grandmother Hazel-cum-lawyer only to find that their entire profit has been nulled by outrageous taxes. A little, very little, wiser, they stock up with luxury foods before the family blasts off for the Asteroid Belt (aka planet Lucifer-before-it-blew) and give their young brother a gift, a Martian pet, a 'flat cat.' This turns out to be trouble when the flat cat has eight kittens, who in turn have eight kittens each, who... soon the ship is brimming with flat cats and the crew are in danger of starving under the purring animals before they put them in hibernation mode. On Ceres, the flat cats, prove to be a commercial hit as the lonely miners buy them for their recreational qualities. After Hazel almost breathes vacuum due to a mechanical mishap with the scooter, the family decides to go visit Saturn --- the rings must look spectacular.

That's it, the entire storyline told in a few words. RAH's mastery of the dialogue makes the family banter a hilarious read. The half-serious, half-facetious threats and friendly insults create a barrage of witty remarks and wittier retorts as the novel skips along blithely without much content. Among the more interesting things are the schooling schedule on board "The Rolling Stone" (plenty of math above all else) and the twins' ability to read with the book turned upside down (quite possible but not easy). RAH's complete faith in science shows through as does his firm belief that high school kids should be able to do at least vector calculus in their heads. Another amazing sci-fi idea is playing chess in your head, which grandmother Hazel seems to be especially good at. Finally, a theme that is later forcefully present in RAH's work can also be seen here: despite Mr. Stone's nominal position as the head of the family and the captain of the ship, it is the women who are in charge --- Dr. Stone with her "Yes, dear" and always getting what she thinks is necessary, and Hazel, with her confrontational style that is just as successful. Despite token resistance, Roger stands no chance with those two (although occasionally he does manage to get through to the twins).

Although not RAH's best juvie, TRS is one of the funniest. Who says RAH can't write comedy? (Answer: the Galactic Overlord).

March 18, 2000. BLS